Tod do yeh deewar!!

               Really, sometimes I just get so frustrated at myself for being a good listener! I am more of a listener, than a speaker.  I listen to my friends, I listen and listen to my teachers perennially. I listen to AR Rahman. I listen to my parents, my grandmother, even my younger sister sometimes! Ok, so is listening bad? May not be. Should not be. Is over-listening bad? Maybe . What do I mean when I say over-listening? Here, I mean listening and listening and not speaking to the necessary extent after which people start saying “Dude, you want to say something? No? Ok, so listen…..”.And this goes on. This is what I have felt!! Listening and listening. Being democratic, I am. Let the person present his views, at least. Then I’ll talk.  But by the time, that guy has finished his talk, I have lost the soul of his argument  and he is tired of speaking and speaking. So, what happens is, both of us stare at each other. Blankly. And then I say “Ok. So, you do agree with Marx? But why?” And again I am listening to his ‘clarification’. This time he talks in such a dominating manner that I just don’t feel like discussing and refuting his argument. Done. He leaves. I am confused. Pondering over what Marx may have said. Why was Marx so crazy? And why is my friend one of the few public Marxists in this world of public capitalists? Is he a seer? I doubt. Confusion. That’s what happens when you over-listen.

              Now, let us assume that there is a process here. Well, there IS a process here. You listen, you process the matter (think) and then speak. Something very similar to what I did here while writing this post. I typed out this stuff on the QWERTY thing (wow, typing out qwerty is a rare thing. I enjoyed doing it twice!!), the master-mind processor thought and the dubba CRT spoke in it’s way. Just imagine how efficiently the computer functions. We perform the input functions. The CPU processes and the output is out flat. This happens when the computer is working efficiently and is normal and sane. Now, imagine the output device not working. The computer’s output device not working leaves the human mind frustrated. No computer(or any such gadget) output implies frustration of the human mind! Similarly, we humans take inputs, then process and then give an output. Normally. Suppose we keep on taking in stuff in the form of thoughts, figures, concepts, equations, scripts etc. We think over it(we don’t) and then efficient and normal beings have good, proportionate outputs in the form of exhibitive  responses like verbal replies and histrionics. Abnormal beings do not have such outputs. They remain stuck in the thought process. There is a problem. The output does not come out. Now, if we get frustrated when the computer does not show an output, imagine our condition if WE do not give out good outputs!! There’s a condition of confusion and conflict which is going to stay on. This is not good. There can be a certain kind of mental clogging which can have undesirable consequences. This can become a habit which will not help me when I face society. Lack of expression of feelings at the right time can lead to isolation and a certain self-centeredness. This is also not good. But this problem can be solved.

                How? Now, the solution is in our CPU. It’s in our processing unit. We have a conscience. We have willpower. We can act. We can improve. We can improve further. Now, taking a cue from what I learnt in English Literature class today - “All conflict arises out of desire” -  I would like to be aware of not crossing the line on the other side. I should not lose my good listening skills. And I should not talk non-sense. But there are certain times when my discretionary powers should come to my rescue. Sometimes, we should not express ourselves as we would normally. We must consider the practicality of the situations. Good. Sounds good.

                 But why on earth am I sharing bits of my personal diary with you? Well, my discretion tells me to do so. You, my dear friend and reader of this blog will also take in something from here. If you find the post rubbish and grammatically horrible(some errors creep in, I know it’s sad inspite of MS Word’s existence), please express your displeasure by posting your comment. Let me tell you - let there be transparency between the writer and the reader. But there can be times when you have nothing to say. Perfectly fine! All your feelings and expressions are respected and accepted! I love you.. all I wish is minimal misunderstanding! I wish to understand my Marxist friend and also you. I will talk to you and let there be exchange of ideas, let there be healthy debates, and let there be lessons to be learnt. Learning and growing together is a beautiful process which may lead to a healthy, strong and well-knit society. From here, we can talk of macro-growth and macro-development. We can be a better society, a better country and a better planet. Let there be conversations!! Light will be there, then.